— Characters & Pairing: ChiLumi (Childe/ Tartaglia x Lumine), Aether
— Tags: soft & hurt, BE
— Summary: “It is said that dreams are just dreams, and they will disappear when we wake up. But what if they don’t disappear and last day after day instead? What if what we dream of gradually becomes a reality?
That’s what my dreams are.”
— Word count: 2553
— Ao3
As children, we were so frightened of our nightmares. A monster under the bed, a boogie man in the closet, a ghost hovering somewhere in the hallway... We woke up, sobbing in search of comfort from a d u l t s, anyone who made us believe they are strong enough to push back against those scary things... Do you remember such nightmares?
My nightmare always starts with losing my twin brother. I always show up in one place and meet someone. Isn’t it just weird? It is said that dreams are just dreams, and they will disappear when we wake up. But what if they don't disappear and last day after day instead? What if what we dream of gradually becomes a reality?
That's what my dreams are.
The furthest dream I can remember is when I was a kid. I cried a lot in the pasture because I had lost my brother. There was no monster more terrifying than that; for the two of us had relied on each other since I could remember. We have no parents. We live off our relatives. But most of the time it was just me and my brother playing in the house. I followed him around the corners of the house, and then to the garden. I imitated every move my brother made and sometimes, it annoyed him. Once or twice I did think I was a different version of my brother. So when I lost him, I didn't know where to go or what I was going to do.
“If you stop crying, I shall give you this toy.”
I looked up. A messy orange-haired man was kneeling on one leg in front of me and smiling. His hand stretched out to a strange, but adorable doll made of cloth.
"Alright?" He asked again.
I wiped away tears with my hands.
"Good girl."
I took the doll from his hand. She looked like a little fairy, white with dark purple eyes, a dark blue hairpin on her head and something that seemed to be a gold crown. Thinking back, the doll was wearing a strange suit, and even the guy in front of me was dressed differently from the usual clothes that I knew.
"Can I help you, ojou-chan? " He asked when he saw my eyes staring at him.
"I... I’ve lost my brother..." I replied in a quiet tone.
"And you want me to help you find your brother?"
I nodded. Then I remembered what my brother used to say, that I couldn't talk to strangers, especially without him or any relatives around.
But the person in front of me was not really a bad person. I thought so. There’s warmth coming from the smile on his face. And before I could think twice, I found my hand holding the hand of that stranger.
He was tall, very tall. Sometimes he had to get down on one knee to talk to me.
"Where are we going to find my brother now?" I asked sadly.
"Everywhere in Teyvat. If we have to go that far to find your brother, ojou-chan."
"Teyvat? That sounds strange!" I uttered. "Where's it on the map?" I did not remember hearing about it during geography at school.
"Haha!" The guy laughed. "It's nowhere in your world. It only exists in your dreams."
I tilted my head. "Dreams? Am I dreaming?"
"Yes."
For a moment, he intended to rub my head with his hand. But he just smiled and picked a flower, placed it in my hair.
We reached the end of the pasture. In front of us was a large city with windmills that could be seen from a distance. He called it Mondstadt.
"So... Who are you?" I was curious.
"I am The Defender of your dreams . But you can call me Ajax."
One of my hands was holding the doll, the other held onto his. "What are you protecting me from?"
" Nightmares, ojou-chan. There are so many nightmares that will strike you at any time, without my presence here."
I didn’t understand much of what he was saying. But as a child, I just believed every word of it.
We went to the fountain and stopped to rest. I sat the doll next to me and asked:
"What's her name?"
"Paimon." Ajax replied. "Perhaps you’re tired and hungry. May I get something for you?”
Could one feel hungry in a dream? I wondered if we could. Still, I nodded and followed Ajax to a nearby diner. It's strange not to see anyone there. In fact, there was no one in this city, except me and Ajax, and some cats lurking somewhere in wooden crates, or jumping back and forth on the roofs, and the sound of dogs barking far away.
Ajax made his own skewers of barbecue from what he earned at the counter while I sat in the chair watching.
"Why isn't anyone here?" I asked.
"Maybe they've been taken away by Nightmares." Ajax half-jokingly replied.
I squeezed Paimon in my hand. "Nightmares?"
"That's right. If you're not careful, they can take you too."
I tried to be calm in the face of the threat, but the scene of a vacant city scared me. I sank into the chair.
"But you’ll be fine. As long as I'm here."
Ajax grilled delicious, greasy skewers of meat on the stove. I helped him put out forks and plates as I usually do at dinner at home. How strange it was; home now felt like a different world, and where I was standing was reality.
Even though it was just a dream, I could say that Ajax was the number one chef on my list. The meat and vegetables were simple but tasted better than anything I'd ever eaten. Or perhaps because this was a dream, it tasted better than anything real?
There was one thing I was curious to ask, but I kept it in my mind for a while, until the sky turned dark. Ajax helped me climb to the top of the clock tower and we just sat next to each other, waiting for time to pass. I blurted out:
"Why don't you protect them?"
Ajax looked at me with a question on his face.
"People who've been here." I added. "You said you were The Defender of Dreams or something…”
Ajax looked like he was hiding something. I saw him accidentally touch the red mask on one side of his head.
"I... I couldn’t. But I will protect you, at any cost."
I was a kid then and didn't even think about those words. Ajax's face began to blur with the stars and moon. And when I woke up the next morning, I was glad my brother was still here.
Ajax appeared in my dreams more often than I could count. He took me all over Mondstadt, the dream castle, then the forests, the lakes full of fish, watching the stars fall on the high mountaintops, looking for treasures in the deep cave... I didn’t understand why in those dreams I always lost my brother, so that every time I woke up, I ran to my brother's room and breathed a sigh of relief at seeing his grimacing face behind the blanket.
I told my brother about those dreams, and he always said that I had a rich imagination. Once or twice, he did admit that he had dreams of losing me too. However, they were much darker and scarier than mine.
I never knew how much time I’d spent exploring the dream world with Ajax. Day and night, then day and night again... In dreams, time is the hardest thing to define. Maybe it's just a blink of an eye; maybe lots of years have passed by. In that world, I was Lady Lumine – the Warrior of Light and Ajax was my Defender of Dreams. Quite funny as it sounded, but for a kid, I took those titles very seriously.
According to Ajax, there are seven kingdoms in Teyvat – the dream world. We had traveled through Mondstadt and Liyue, neither of which had a silhouette of any person. There were no longer archons. From time to time, Ajax told me about the people and the seven archons who had lived here, and I couldn't explain why I had such a familiar feeling, as if I knew each of them very well. He said they had been taken by Nightmares. Maybe my brother was taken, too. There must be a reason why I could not find him in this world.
Ajax also thought I had the ability to beat Nightmares and rescue those people. It was a hero's duty that I didn't think I was strong enough to carry. Of course, I wanted to find my brother again. But didn’t I always find him in the next room every time I woke up?
I never wish to upset Ajax, so I agreed to let him train me in battle skills. Ajax was lonely. Really lonely. Because he didn't have anyone else to talk to the entire time when I was awake! There's literally no one here but the two of us. He could chat with Paimon as I left her behind, or the colorful slimes, or the animals we met on the road. He could also sing to the glazed lilies. But they would never be able to respond to Ajax in a way that two people could talk to each other.
Everyone had an imaginary friend as a child, right? Ajax was my imaginary friend. I was so afraid to forget about him the way an ***** forgets about his or her unreal childhood friend. Fortunately, Ajax did not disappear. He was still somewhere in my dreams, waiting for me to come looking for him. He had not changed a bit; he’s not getting old at all. He was still the same as the first day we met. As for me, I was no longer a crying baby.
I was taller, but I couldn't be as tall as Ajax. The top of my head only reached his shoulders. Perhaps everyone, including my brother, would laugh at me when I told them about the dream world that had existed since my childhood, and I still very much wanted to continue the story there. I still wanted to see Ajax's smile, even if it's just a dream. It's sad, but isn't it that in the saddest things we find something beautiful?
Ajax and I had traveled through six different kingdoms, fighting side by side with Nightmares in all shapes and forms. We fished together in Mondtsadt, lit lanterns in Liyue, admired the cherry blossoms of Inazuma, discovered old books filled with ancient knowledge in Sumeru, soaked in the hot springs of Natlan, and danced together to waltz at the Fontaine palace... All the places we passed were empty, as if this word was left with only the two of us.
Only one last kingdom remained, the realm of ice – Snezhnaya. I kept in mind that the closer it got, the sadder Ajax was. And he seemed to be weakened. I wasn’t sure if it's because I had become stronger than before, so it's easier to beat Ajax in a fight or there was something else. I was a little excited to know if I would find my brother and everyone else in the last kingdom. But somewhere in me there was a fear that I was coming to an end to a fictional story.
I was not ready to bid Ajax farewell.
The nightmare that seemed to be gone a long time ago came back in a way I didn't expect. My brother disappeared. Completely gone. One morning when I woke up and didn't see him come down for breakfast, I looked for him everywhere. He wasn’t found the next day, and the day after that. What scared me more than anything was that no one remembered his existence! I asked our family, neighbors, and friends... No one knew who Aether was.
I was so confused and terrified. How could one disappear without leaving a trace in other people’s lives? Why was I the only one who remembered having a twin brother? These questions swirled around in my head even when I fell asleep after crying to exhaustion.
"Ojou-chan!" Ajax called. His blue eyes were like the ocean on the sunniest days calmed me down. Sometimes I just wanted to drown in that ocean forever.
“Run!”
I did not understand what was happening. I rubbed my eyes. The scene in front of me was horrifying. Giant, black and peculiar monsters; they were shadows surrounding Ajax. He’s a wall standing in front of me, preventing them from reaching me.
“Run, ojou-chan! Hurry up!”
Ajax shouted before slashing the monsters in front of him. But they were like smoke spreading out, then reunited into a giant humanoid war machine.
Ajax's bow broke in half on the ground. He’s changing his weapon back and forth from its hydro spear to double da***** in the color of water. But he was weaker than the enemies.
Snow fell. All around us was a battlefield. I took a deep breath. The cold woke me up. Every feeling was more real than ever. Sometimes I forgot I was just dreaming. But nothing mattered anymore. I pulled out my sword and ran to Ajax.
I was a little too late. From the darkness came another familiar face. A blade flashed and pointed at Ajax.
"No!"
I screamed out. All the movements stopped. Even the snowflakes halted, merely hovering in the air. The rotation of time was stopped the very moment I saw that sharp end of the sword pierce through the heart Ajax. Fresh blood fell to the white snow, blooming like flowers of death.
My tears had not yet been frozen, as I saw the face of whom the blade belonged to.
My brother pulled back his sword and pushed Ajax into the icy ground.
"Ae– Aether..." My lips trembled.
My twin brother took a few steps back and the darkness moved back with him. I ran to Ajax. He was looking for me. His lips gently called to me: "Ojou-chan... Ojou-chan..." But the howling winds carried those words away.
In Ajax's eyes there used to be a ray of light, and it sparkled every time I saw my reflection in it. He was always smiling at me. He had always protected me.
"Wake up, ojou-chan... It's time for you to wake up..."
I shook my head. I was not going to leave Ajax alone. This was not the ending I hoped for.
I gazed up. When did Aether get so close? He looked down at me with sad, lifeless eyes. All I ever wanted was to bring my brother back. How did we end up here? How did he become the nightmare I was battling against?
"When your journey is over, you'll understand it all, Lumine." My brother said. Heartlessly.
Once again, I saw the blade flash. But I didn't resist it. I didn't avoid it. There was no pain, no more Ajax or Aether. It was all darkness covering me.
Was this nightmare over, or was this just the beginning?
***
Awaken, I found myself lying in the snow, surrounded by a forsaken Teyvat...
-The End-
