Recently I found this topic on the Genshin wiki forum and I thought it was a fun thought experiment. So I thought I'd try it out here.
I'd also like to expand on it by asking:
-Why would they be after you?
-Besides just the how part would there be other people (your other characters) you could get to help you against them?
-Try not dying so don't give "I'm so boned" as an answer lol
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So my team's public knowledge at this point. I hardly ever change them -
[emoji], [emoji], [emoji], [emoji]. (I got sticker crazy [emoji])
Without the "I'm so boned" option I'd say I'd still be boned but I might be able to bribe at least 1 of them as long as I can get her alone. So to have even a remote chance that'd be step 1.
To do that I'd first have to contact Yae (I'm cheating a little but I think I have enough saved up that I can guarantee her and she's really my only way to distract a god and an adepti so.... yeah) (also plzplzplz MiHoYo gods gimme Yae! [emoji]) ahem anyway I'll contact Yae and convince her to help me get Zhongli and Ganyu to visit Inazuma. Since she knows them both very well that might do the trick on them.
Once they're over there Zhongli's schtick with the order and all that will hopefully mean that I can have Itto, Sayu, Ayaka and Thoma cause messes all over Inazuma that Sara will have to deal with. This gets loud (because I beg Sara to make it loud) so Zhongli and Ganyu help Yae sort things out since Ei's too busy Euthymiaing.
Next I'll head over to the Yuehai Pavilion where I'll need to convince Ningguang to have some kind of public spat with Beidou about something or another. Since it's Beidou it could be a legal issue and there goes Yanfei to sort it out.
Finally Mona will be all by her lonesome. Sadly she'll also have scried and know exactly what I was planning so before she can ruin it I say "Hi Mona. I have 30 million Mora with your name on it if you'll let go of your grudge against me." 30 million + a fancy meal (probably best in Mondstadt so Yanfei doesn't catch a whiff of me scheming) and hopefully we can talk it out. My poor wallet. [emoji](I might also try to get her drunk too so that's where Diona, Diluc and Kaeya might come into play. Can't properly predict the future if you can't even see straight amirite?)
As things start to calm down in Liyue I'll have Keqing and Xinyan get into it about noise complaints or something while getting Hu Tao and Xingqiu to go all out with pranks. That should keep Yanfei busy until she's too ****ed to remember the killing me stuff.
As Zhongli and Ganyu wrap up the mess I left for them in Inazuma I'll have Xiangling ambush them with a nice big feast while Hu Tao catches up and starts asking Zhongli some questions. That causes gramps to break out into another story so he'll be busy for a while while Ganyu starts to nod off so I have Ningguang and Keqing bring her back to Yuehai Pavilion so when she wakes up she'll already have work to distract her from the task of killing me. Put it on your to do list bwahahaha!
That should save me from 3 out of the 4 but I'm sure eventually the freaking God of Contracts will end me. So I guess I'm off to the Tears of Themis Universe.
But why would they want me dead? Well one day Ganyu was tidying up when she remembered she needed to look something up. My computer just happened to be unlocked and my browser was open. Some of the open tabs were on some choice fanart. [emoji]She gets embarrassed cries to Yanfei and that leads to Yanfei seeing more choice fanart. [emoji]They bring it up with Morax who likely wouldn't appreciate it [emoji]so he forges a contract with them. And Mona scried the whole thing including some choice fanart of hers.
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Now you guys. What did you do to them and how will you get out of that mess? 
Tips and Tricks from a Super Casual Genshin f2p
