So this is a repost because people don't seem to understand this dynamic at all (not surprised tbh, it's difficult).
So this time I'm going to do this 1. 2. 3. like my other posts.
It's INCREDIBLY interesting and you will see it often in the CHS media world, so best to learn about it sooner than later.
What is Sajiao?
SAJIAO is a Chinese word for acting like a spoiled brat around someone that you know likes you. The brattier and whinier you are, and get away with it, the more it means the recipient cares about you.
It's an exchange between an powerful person and less powerful person. You will usually see it with parent and child, older and younger siblings, man and wife, or very close friends where one is older or wealthier. That's right, back into the "are they brothers" grey area- but we will get to that later.
Sajiao is ENTIRELY affectionate. While it looks very strange from an EN or Western speaking standpoint, it's common in most "asian" countries like China, Japan, and Korea under different names. I only know Sajiao in any amount of detail so that is what I will be calling it here.
Fellow EN speakers may recognize it more as "affectionate bullying" or loving peer pressure- like when you give someone puppy dog eyes and go "but- but- but I wants it 🥺" and follow it up by leaning on their shoulder with a pout saying 'pleeeeeeeeeeeease?'
That's Sajiao.
In Siblings and Friendships
With siblings it's almost a showcase.
China is a Confucius based social structure. There are tiers to relationships- literally like a pyramid of importance and it looks like this:
- Emperor or Subject
- Father or Son
- Husband or Wife
- Siblings
- Friends
So your family takes up three of the five levels. That's a lot!
This is where the concept of calling a friend by sibling terms comes from- if you really like your friend, they are "promoted" to the next level- making them a "sibling." (Note that the next promotion up is Husband/Wife- and that's partially where Sajiao comes from in the dating scene.)
The younger sibling (didi or mei/mei) will bother, pester, and poke at the older (gege or jiejie) to get things. The more the older sibling can provide, the more it shows the younger is beloved and cared for in the household. The little ones should always be getting whatever they want if the family can provide, right? And it's the older sibling's duty and responsibility to make sure that is the case when the parents aren't there.
Even when parents ARE there, you make sure your sibling is cared for. That is your job! It's not a stretch to say family is the most important thing in your life- so you should always be responsible and make sure your family is taken care of.
So if your didi asks you for juice, you see if you have juice. If you don't have juice, you may find a way to get juice- because if you can't do something as simple as get juice for your little brother, what kind of big brother are you?
Your little sibling will typically never call you by your name as a result of this- You are Gege. You are Big Brother. Big Brother is the best! Big brother gives them whatever they want and is an extremely important person! It would be very impersonal to call you by your first name to the same degree you can consider adding "mister" to something in English.
Older Siblings practically demand their younger siblings to call them Gege / Jiejie because it's weird otherwise. Imagine your sibling calling you Mr. [First Name]. Awful. It's a huge demotion to be removed from the family dynamic! To call an older sibling by their first name is extremely disrespectful and rude. You simply don't do that.
This would be like calling your parents by their first names. You do not do that. But unlike EN, this extends to /siblings/ as well. It's really not that different!
In Chinese Dating
While it may seem extreme, women will stamp their foot, cross their arms, even pull on an ear or lightly smack their husband when he isn't giving them enough attention- that is what Sajiao is for. It is asking for attention.
Despite how it may seem- it's actually kind of respectful? The she only asks from HIM and HE only gives it to HER. It can make him feel like a powerful person, respected, and a source of stability- and she gets what she wants and knows he loves her! So this is a very mutual, understood trade between the two.
It is very common in dating culture as "independence" is frankly seen as rather unattractive. Women who do not Sajiao are seen as more masculine. Men want a woman who NEEDS them- and Sajiao is a great way of showing she does! She can't ask him for anything if he has nothing, after all. The more demanding she is, the more he can provide!
She says she needs something.
He gives her that something.
She sees him providing or taking care of her, she is happy.
He sees her letting him take care of her, providing for her, and he is happy.
While it may seem toxic or sexist in a Western view, I promise you this is very normal and consensual. If you see a Chinese couple doing this, he isn't whipped or being abused- they just love each other! (And mind your own business!)
Ref: Link One, Link Two, Link Three
In Genshin Impact
You can see Sajiao and respect between siblings all the time- ever notice how Ayato will do ANYTHING for his sister? He is constantly making sure she gets what she wants and all she has to do is look at him with those big doe eyes of hers and he just folds. When in public, she calls him 兄长 (xiōng zhǎn- Xiong means "older brother") but in private, Ayaka calls Ayato "Gege". (10 second mark)
Lynette in every scene where she is present with Lyney, has called him Gege, including the friends from afar event. She gets whatever she wants if you watch closely! Her stomach rumbled and he immediately moved to get her food. If she wants cake? She gets cake. Her looking off to the side and pouting? Sajiao.
Klee calls Albedo Gege and can practically get away with murder in his eyes.
You actually see Sajiao all the time in Genshin and don't realize it:
What character is constantly asking the traveler for things?
They are complaining about being hungry, tired, or wanting snacks!
They want money and toys!
Paimon!
Westerners find Paimon annoying, but Chinese players LOVE her. This is why! She's Sajiao-ing the Traveler and is just acting like a beloved little sister or close friend in Chinese culture. (Once you become aware of this, it may change how you see her!) But note she calls Traveler by name.
There is another character that does Sajiao all the time though!
Kaeya Alberich.
Kaeya Sajiao's but not as a "Sibling"
Westerners were frankly ROBBED of the real dynamic he has with Diluc because oh my god it's so funny.
Kaeya Sajiao's so hard that other characters literally use him for it. One of the first real times we saw it was the first Windblume.
Diluc never says no to Kaeya because he is the "big brother" of the two.
Venti asks Kaeya to get things from Diluc, because he knows Diluc won't say no.
Lisa sends him to Dawn Winery to ask for favors... because she knows Diluc won't say no. ("You're the best person for this.")
He's shown this over and over again.
Kaeya wants snacks at Angel's Share? He got snacks.
In the conversation between them in the Golden Apple Archipelago you can hear him crank up the WHINE with his 'aiyaya!?' and then blatantly pout at Diluc.
Right after that, he pouts some more asking him not to be so mean >:( and he also did this in Venti's story quest.
He is deadass called Diluc's yixiongdi and even says xiongdi in person- but never calls Diluc Gege in game. This would be so weird in a Chinese social setting for siblings! Here are some examples:
You can find some more examples of them being affectionate and some more details on the above inthis post I did of "no, they don't hate each other."
Ballads and Brews:
Remember this entire event was about family! Kaeya even said "this is my home too" so if they were siblings there is no reason he shouldn't be calling Diluc Gege here... unless they never had that sort of relationship. At one point Kaeya was completely off guard and dropped all honorifics- but still did not call Diluc 'gege'... just Diluc.
哎呀哎呀，好冷淡的反应，迪卢克老爷似乎不怎么欢迎我。
话说回来，你知道吗？骑士团的人，都盼望着迪卢克前辈能重回我们这个温暖大家庭呢。
要是有迪卢克前辈的人望，我们义卖摊位的队伍，能一路排到鹰翔海滩吧…
雷泽这孩子真不容易，一转眼都这么大了，还在找爸爸。迪卢克老爷，不如就帮帮他吧。
迪卢克老爷个性好积极呢，有恩必报，真不错。
…啊哈哈，迪卢克，你…
Hangout:
Not even an honorific- just his name! 😱
Don't have the text on hand, but he did say his name.
Golden Apple:
😱😱😱 Name only!
根据经验，我判断此时应当原地等待联络，迪卢克则认为，雷泽不会回来找我们...
哈哈哈…谁知道呢，或许是我命中注定要跟迪卢克老爷一起倒霉吧。
迪卢克, 迪卢克, 迪卢克, 迪卢克, 迪卢克-
there are more, but I think the point is across.
Kaeya has never called Diluc "Gege" (哥哥).
This is one of those contextual things that kind of show they never had a sibling relationship to begin with. So to that commenter whining that shippers 'jump through hoops' to ship them?
Not really.
Because a couple could or would call each other by name. Siblings do not.
Kaeya is basically flirting if you want to read it that way, but it wouldn't unnatural for very good friends to do this as well when there's a power dynamic or age difference.
The Difference of CHS and International Kaeya
CHS Kaeya is very much a different person than EN Kaeya and even Japanese Kaeya. He's vulnerable, sensitive, whiny, and rather effeminate.
The problem stems from vocal direction.
Japanese has a similar dynamic to Sajiao. The JPN Voice Actor had toreadjust his performance of Kaeya to be more 'little brother' like later because they asked him to. He struggled a lot with this! Because to be told "act like a little brother" meant adding more sajiao into his vocals- how do you do that with acting like a cool, suave person like he was told before? It's difficult.
This is not the VA's fault! But you really cannot trust any of the dubs but the CHS. They are the only ones given full info, and even then it is limited.
I highly recommend this thread as they went through SO MANY examples between CHS and EN Kaeya, even a few with Japanese as comparisons. They also explain Sajiao and how 'little brother energy' Kaeya is in their own words.
