— Characters: Hutao, Qiqi
— Tags: hurt/ comfort, friendship
— Summary: On the way back to Bubu Pharmacy after a night of collecting herbs, Qiqi found an old lady by the bridge. She was so familiar. She told the little zombie that it was her last dawn of this world and asked if Qiqi would accompany her...
— Word count: 2141
— Ao3
Note: When I started finding information about Hutao, those I read inspired me a lot. I wanted to write about death; but not as something so horrifying and painful, but as something that gives the living hopes.
This story was written long before Hutao’s first banner, hence, there might be details that don’t match in game stories.
When the residents of Liyue Harbor fell asleep, no one knew there was a petite little girl, her head glued to a talisman and her back carrying a bamboo basket filled with herbs, all running around the streets. She ran into the woods from dark until dawn. Occasionally, she lost her way and took longer to return than expected. And sometimes, she forgets what she has to do with the herbs she has picked. But she always knows that she has to go back to Bubu Pharmacy before dawn.
So was that night. Qiqi had traveled a very long way into the forest, and returned to the harbor. There are herbs that can only be picked late at night. Thankfully Qiqi didn't forget to bring her notebook. It would be such a mess if she hadn’t. Finding herbs isn't too difficult, but sometimes she forgets which way she has to go. In her head she re-followed her orders, such as "Do not wander off. Must go home. Must go home. Must make medicine. Must awaken Mr. Baizhu..."
Yet when she encountered a shadow on the bridge, Qiqi forgot those orders immediately.
An old lady slowly walked up the bridge. When she saw Qiqi, she smiled.
"Picking herbs again, aren’t you?"
Qiqi tilted her head. The old woman gave her a very familiar vibe, as if they had met a long time ago, but Qiqi couldn’t remember who she was. As a zombie, her memory is very short-term. Even the face of Mr. Baizhu, who has been caring for Qiqi for a very, very long; is also quite faint in her mind.
Qiqi watched as the old woman reached the bridge, stepping closer and closer to her. Why would such an old lady go out on the streets at this hour? Even though she had stayed in Liyue for all her life, she still couldn’t understand the people here. Maybe it's because the memory of them in her head faded shortly after they bid farewell. The only thing she remembers is that everyone is nice, except for those in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
"You don't seem to be lost again today." The old lady said. Her eyes were bright, and there was something... sophisticated, in stark contrast to her ageing appearance.
"Are you picking herbs too, ma’am?" Qiqi asked, but she didn't see the old lady’s basket.
"No. No... I just want to see the sunrise for the last time..."
Qiqi didn’t not understand. What did she mean, by last time?
"Can't you watch the sunrise anymore?"
"I'm afraid so. The moment I leave this world is almost here."
There was something in her words that hit Qiqi. She immediately understood what the old lady wanted to say. Death. As a zombie, a zombie that can control ice like her, can she feel cold? She's pretty sure she had just shivered.
The old lady went on to say, "So I want to see the sun up in the harbor one last time. Little zombie, can you accompany me for a while?"
Qiqi tilted her head again. No one likes to talk to a forgetful zombie like her, because they always have to say one thing over and over again. But this old lady seemed to be very fond of her.
Qiqi reluctantly put her hand on the bridge, looking up at the old woman. She thought that if other people wanted to talk to her, she must say something to them, too.
"Ma’am... Aren’t you afraid of dying?"
The old lady suddenly laughed out loud. "Haha! Dying? I'm terrified of it! But I know one thing. Everything in the world must come to an end. We can't go against the laws of nature."
What familiar words! Qiqi tried to remember where she heard these things, but her memory was just a dense black hole, occasionally flashing a few faint rays of light.
"Qiqi wants to live." She replied.
The old lady smiled. "Many people live for fame; few only wish for a peaceful life. I've lived a life full of joy, anger, love and hatred. How many years have passed already? Have you ever laughed, ever cried? You're still the same. You have no memory, no feelings. In the end, what are you living for?"
Gazing into her bright eyes, Qiqi found it difficult to speak. What does a zombie live for? She can't remember where she came from, or what happened to her. She can't even remember the things that happened two or three days ago, or just yesterday. Like the old lady said, she didn’t have feelings like a human being. Somehow, though, the desire to live has always existed in her.
Although Qiqi's face was cold, the old woman can still see her puzzlement.
"Every human is bound to something in their living days. For they have placed too much love and hatred into this world. Yet you, a zombie, why do you still hold on to your existence here?"
Qiqi began to feel uncomfortable. She vaguely remembered that similar words had been spoken by someone, when she was taken to a place filled with flames. The fire of that place was hot and ferocious. She's slowly remembering. It's a terrible place, with the sign Wangsheng Funeral Parlor on top.
A strong wind rose, causing the talisman in front of Qiqi's eyes to almost be blown away. She held it tight with her tiny hands. Voices echoing from the past seemed to catch up with her.
"It would be much easier if you just let me bury you, Qiqi."
"Your existence in this world is wrong."
"Don't you want to take a deep slumber and leave this exiled life?"
Qiqi held onto the talisman, and shut her eyes. She didn’t want to hear those words anymore. She wanted to run as quickly as she could to Bubu Pharmacy and let all this slip into the graveyard of her memories.
But when Qiqi opened her eyes, the old woman disappeared. In front of her was a very familiar face instead. Her face was once carved into Qiqi’s mind day by day, haunting her in a nightmare.
“H-Hu… Tao…”
Qiqi can't remember anyone, but she deeply notes the fear of this face, this name. Every time she saw or heard it, the zombie trembled and ran to find a hiding place. Hu Tao, the 77th Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, is also the one who has tried to bury Qiqi day and night. But she has never succeeded. Qiqi can say that because she can still walk. Every time she failed, she sent a letter to Qiqi to apologize for not burying her fast enough, and explained what she had done to trap the zombie girl very thoroughly.
How could Qiqi forget Hu Tao? How could she not feel the hot breath of fire radiating from Hu Tao's vision?
Indeed Qiqi didn't feel it like she used to. Over time, Hu Tao grew up and spent less time around the pharmacy, although she never gave up on the idea of burying Qiqi. There was a time when Qiqi lived in relief of forgetting Hu Tao's existence, but she always returned, with that vicious hot airflow and made Qiqi more frightened and despised than ever.
But that moment, the Hu Tao in front of Qiqi seemed different. There was no flame, no aggression. Hu Tao of that moment felt like a small, dying fire in the wind.
"I'm not coming this time to catch you, Qiqi." Hu Tao said. She smiled tenderly. "I'm here to say goodbye..."
Qiqi's eyes blinked. "Goodbye?..."
"That's right. My time is running out. I'll leave when the first ray of the new day comes. I've lived a very happy life. You know, I've lived longer than my father and grandfather. With my own hands I have also raised an excellent heir that will take care of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor after I’m gone... You see, Qiqi. I have nothing left to regret in this world, except for one thing..."
Hu Tao's eyes looked down at the little zombie. Qiqi hadn't changed a bit since they first met; and it was then when the young Director decided that the biggest goal of her life was to make a decent funeral for Qiqi.
"I have spent so much effort and time this whole life running after you. But that old man Baizhu always saved you... What I regret most is not being able to bury you..."
Qiqi shivered.
"But I cannot always be a child like you. I don't have the strength to chase you anymore. I've spent a lifetime helping the dead find their final rest, and now I've let a zombie help me find mine.”
Hu Tao burst into laughter again. "When I'm gone, you'll soon forget me. That's good, you wouldn't be attached to me. And I..."
Qiqi couldn’t understand why Hu Tao looked like she's going to cry. That person had never cried in front of others.
"I think I've spent so much time planning your funeral; so much that it dawns on me that you are also a part of my life..."
Hu Tao had lost her only family when she was only thirteen years old. A very young girl inherited Wangsheng Funeral Parlor from her grandfather. All her life she has witnessed so many separations, her hands have shrouded countless bodies, and said farewell to countless souls as they left this world. Seeing them rest is her comfort. That's why the famous zombie girl in Liyue made Hu Tao a lot of concern. Every day she seeked to help Qiqi rest in peace. Hu Tao is not one to give up easily; she is quite stubborn. Once it's decided, no one can stop her. And so, a human and a zombie; one chased and the other ran. They'd been playing hide and seek for years, until Hu Tao got old and couldn’t chase anymore, Qiqi was still just an ice cold girl.
However, a connection between the two had been formed since. Although Hu Tao never admitted that she sometimes wanted Qiqi to live happily as a human being; or although Qiqi could recall so little details, their existence to each other has a very special meaning.
From a distance, the sky started to bright up. It's time for the black curtain of the night covering Liyue to be taken away. Qiqi couldn’t tell what she must do at the pharmacy anymore. She looked at Hu Tao who now seemed to be fading. There were wings of butterflies as bright as fire surrounding her.
"I can't believe I'm about to say these words to you... Qiqi... I can't help you to go to the afterlife anymore... I'm sorry... Maybe my successor will be able to help you. But from this until the moment I see you again in a place for the dead, I hope you have found your purpose of living..."
Hu Tao's silhouette came closer and bent down, whispering, "That old man Baizhu cannot take care of you forever. He's always looking for a way to life forever, but his life can only be extended for a short while. Those who do not follow the laws of nature will be punished... I don't know why you have survived to this day... Perhaps, you're like the souls that cannot escape this world because they still have something else to do?”
Qiqi didn't fully understand Hu Tao's words. She had never thought about it. Qiqi simply exists. She wants to live. But what does she live for? She's also curious to know. When she finds the answer, can she live as a human being at last?
Then Hu Tao abruptly put her hand on Qiqi's head, patting her: "Anyhow... Go to many places, make lots of friends, see the world... Let's find out why you still exist in this world. Not that you live because you've been revived by the adepti, but the reason you really want to live. When I see you again, I will definitely ask you my question today; what did you live for?"
Qiqi looked up, her lips moved as if she wanted to say something, but she couldn't remember. She just watched in silence as Hu Tao vanished into tens of thousands of flaming red butterfly wings.
"Farewell, Qiqi."
***
The funeral of the 77th Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor took place in great importance that day. Almost every house in Liyue was attended. The small zombie girl at Bubu Pharmacy was also seen clutching a chest full of letters to the grave, placing a violetgrass on top. Afterwards, no one knew where she went. Some people recalled Inazuma as the zombie girl had mentioned before. And since then, the people of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor have been constantly searching for her.
